The Special Needs Parenting Drinking Game
- Drink every time your child breaks something. Finish your drink if he breaks something of great sentimental value.
- Do a shot each time you take your child to Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Behavioral Therapy, or any other kind of therapy.
- Drink every time your insurance won't cover an intervention. Finish your drink if it will. (Celebration time!)
- Do a shot every time Jenny McCarthy says something stupid or offensive. Do two shots if it involves showing her boobies.
- Drink every time someone says so-and-so "was just like that when he was younger, and he's fine now." Finish your drink if the person who says this is a relative.
- Do a shot every time your school system vetoes an intervention.
- Drink every time someone says, "But he looks normal."
- Drink every time a doctor ignores your concerns.
- Drink for every referral you get.
- Finish your drink every time you have to call your child's principal.
- Do a shot every time someone calls your kid weird. Do another shot for each violent demise you imagine for the person who calls your kid weird.
- Drink every time your child reaches a hard-won milestone. Finish your drink every time your child has a setback.
- Drink every time your child gets overstimulated.
- Drink every time your child is understimulated.
- Drink every time your child starts stimming.
- Do a shot every time you stay home from an event or family gathering rather than deal with the meltdown that is sure to follow.
- Drink every time your kid wakes up in the middle of the night.
- Drink every time your kid wets the bed. Finish your drink if he wets your bed.
- Do a shot every time your kid has a meltdown. Hell, take two shots.
- Drink every time your child eats chicken nuggets. Finish your drink if he decides he no longer likes chicken nuggets. Do a shot if he demonstrates this displeasure by throwing the chicken nuggets against a wall.
- Drink every time your child screams. Finish your drink if the scream is coming from one of your neurotypical kids. Do a shot if you're the one screaming.
- Drink every time your child refuses to let you cut his toenails, wash his hair, brush his teeth, etc.
- Drink every time your child plays in the sink. Finish your drink if he has incorporated a box of tampons into his sink play. (Thanks to Kimberly at All Work And No Play Make Mommy Go Something Something for that one!)
- Drink every time your child injures himself, someone else, or you. Finish your drink if there's bloodshed. Do a shot if the injury requires an ER visit.
- Drink every time he cries. Finish your drink every time you cry.
- Drink every time you leave a store because of one of your child's meltdowns. Finish your drink if you stay in the store for the duration of the meltdown. Do a shot if someone calls children's services on you.
- Drink every time you watch a certain t.v. show for the billionth time. Finish your drink every time your child has a conversation with you based entirely on said show.
- Drink every time your child refuses to go to school. Finish your drink when he refuses to leave school.
- Chug for five seconds when your child learns to unlock the front door.
- Drink every time your child strips naked.
- Drink every time your child's feces ends up somewhere other than the toilet.
- Drink every time you replace your bathroom tile.
- Drink every time your child refuses to wear an article of clothing because it is itchy, scratchy, too tight, feels funny, etc.
- Drink every time your child dismantles a brand new toy, and then plays with just one piece.
- Drink every time someone says IEP, annual goals, data, or vaccinate.
- Drink every time you say an acronym.
