And So It Begins.

     School has been out for all of two days, and my children have already lost their damn minds.  It would not surprise me in the least if it were discovered that their brains had somehow turned into jello and dripped right on out of their ears.  Much like a biblical plague, my house has been set upon by cranky, bored hellbeasts children.  After a mere forty-eight hours of unfettered access, every toy that has ever entered this house is now viewed as garbage, and the little turds are frankly insulted that I would dare think they should play with any of it.  There's also been quite a bit of bloodshed and tears (not mine.)  I'm pretty sure that my bathroom floor is going to have to be replaced...again.  Oh, and Skeletor has decided that he is madly in love with a pitchfork that he found in the shed!  Because that's not dangerous at all, right?  Oh em geezy, George and Weezy!
     And because it's summer vacation, the song "School's Out" by the illustrious Mr. Alice Cooper has been stuck in my head on repeat.  Which reminds me of watching him sing the song on the Muppet Show when I was a kid.  You should watch it.  It is a pretty accurate metaphor for my experience so far.  In this clip, the role of yours truly will be played by Alice (much as I hope it one day will be when I have my own Lifetime movie.)  Notice how I start out all calm and serene, pleased with the prospect of school being out for the summer.  But then things grow ominous.  I am surrounded by freaky, monster children.  They tease me and harrass me until the inevitable occurs.  That's right.  I transform into an evil devil rocking a red bodysuit and some fairly awesome boots.  Even as I type these words, I am overwhelmed by an urge to search for Halloween costumes on the interwebs.  It's happening, people.  You've been warned.  Beeeee-waaaaaare!

The change is upon me.