Rhyming Dirty Words

     Let's just forget my last hissy fit of a blog post, shall we?  Is that cool with everyone?  Yes?  Good.  Moving on, then.  Shortly before Christmas, Skeletor's class began really hammering home the concept of rhyming words.  Either that, or Skeletor just waited until then to show off his new skill.  Regardless, the boy has been walking around rhyming everything.  At first, I was all, "Yay!  Good job, boy child!  I'm so very proud of you!"  But that pride has suddenly changed to...well, a mixture of feelings.
     In the last couple of months, Skeletor has become very "interested" in sharks.  Meaning, of course, that he eats, sleeps, breathes, and talks about nothing but sharks.  Especially Jaws.  Jaws is his jam.  I say all of that to say this.  Everyone knows the scene at the end of the movie "Jaws" where Brody feeds Jaws an oxygen tank and utters the iconic "Smile, you son of a" line before blowing Jaws into chum.  Well, that scene is classic for a reason.  And, as such, it has resonated with Skeletor, too.  Honestly, I don't even know if the movie actually finishes that line, but a lot of the YouTube "Jaws" parodies that Skeletor has been watching certainly do.  (Yeah, I know.  I'm a crappy parent.  Whatevers.)
     ANYWAY, to finally get to the point of this post, learning how to rhyme plus shark explosion related dirty words has led to Skeletor's new favorite past time, rhyming dirty words.  First it was, "Smile, you son of a witch!"  Now, it's "dumblass" and "bam!"  I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he graduates to "motherclucker."  Frankly, I was unaware that the boy had so many curse words stored away in that brain of his.  (Again, I suck at life and parenting.)
     Part of me is chagrined.  All I need is for him to go off on a rhyming tangent at school.  I've already been there and done that this school year.  Another part of me is impressed by the critical thinking skills required to pull this off.  But, mostly?  I just think it's freaking hilarious.

I don't know why I find this so funny.

Parental Advisory: Explicit Content

     A couple of weeks ago, when I was on hiatus (that makes me sound important, right,) something hilarious/terrible happened.  I had the day off from work, and was all by my onesies while the kids were in school.  I should have done something awesome with my free time like throw a kegger, but instead I was slaving over Halloween decorations.  Anyhoozle, while I was getting my hot glue on, I got a phone call.  From my kids' principal.  Zoinks.  Apparently, Sassafrass, my darling six year old, was in the office.  Her offense?  Calling a little boy in her class a dick.  (In her defense, he was totally being a dick.  In my defense, she actually didn't hear that from me.  Any other curse word I could probably lay claim to, but I really don't know where she picked up this one.)  After my immediate horror subsided, I started getting a little pissy.  The intellectual part of me said, "That's unacceptable.  She can't just walk around calling people names.  Especially ones like that."  However, the dirty, damn the man hippie in me said, "That's horseshit!  Who decides what a bad word is?  If she had called the kid a poopy-head, she would have just pulled a quarter in class.  But, she calls a kid a word that's arbitrarily designated as a 'bad word,' and all hell breaks loose.  Shenanigans, I say!"  I'm still conflicted.  Obviously, because I'm a sell-out, I gave her a good talking to about curse words and name calling and all that jazz.  But it still just makes me all mangry thinking about it.  Not the school's reaction, really, just how random language is.  I'm tired.  And digressing.  Does anyone out there get as hot and bothered about stupid crap like this as I do, or is my crazy just showing?