Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Get It Together, Lady!

     Alternate title: Why I Suck At Life.  So, I am in a full on shame spiral these days.  Overwhelmed doesn't even do it justice.  I feel like there's so much crap that I need to be doing, and I'm not getting anything done.  And I don't mean "I really should wash those baseboards" kind of stuff.  I'm talking therapies, educational needs, disability services...and those baseboards.  Skeletor has been making remarkable improvements with his speech and his behavior, but there is still so much to do.  I look at all these blogs and articles, and, where they used to inspire me to action, they now seem to exhaust me.  There is so much that I could be doing for my son and for my other children, but I can't seem to find the forward momentum to do one more thing.  And I'm not okay with this.  I'm an over-achiever.  I always have been.  And I'm not used to having to try so hard at things.  But this whole special needs parenting shebang is kicking my ass all over the place.  I truly have to get it together.  Because I can do better. 

How I feel about life, right now.

12 comments:

  1. Stop. Breathe. Go take a bath. Put some clean clothes on.

    Get a cup of something hot and sit down and make a list... What have you done RIGHT lately? at least 10 things. even if they are something small like... I didn't throw a fit that there was no toilet paper. or I didn't slit my husband's throat when he looked at the baseboards with *that* tone.

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    1. Is it weird that this made me tear up a little bit?

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  2. What she said there. Give yourself permission to be human. You can't handle everything at once, and you can't do it all alone.
    And this is where I have to say "take my advice, I am not using it", because I need to get a handle on that myself. Cheers.

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    1. Thanks! Why are we always so hard on ourselves, and so supportive of everyone else? Women, amiright?

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  3. I totally understand you and really feel where you're coming from. And Mac & Kermommy? They said it right... take a couple minutes to celebrate what you HAVE done right -- you deserve it!

    As for moving forward, I always try to approach things the same way I approach Little Miss's IEP. Small, manageable goals -- and a check list complete with LOTS of boxes to check off so that I can feel like I'm getting somewhere even if I AM only taking baby steps.

    Hang in there, girl. I know you can do this -- after all, you're an autism mom!

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    1. Awwww, thanks! You're so right. First thing on my to do list? Make a to do list with very, very, very small goals!

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks. I'm feeling better, now. Momentary freak out!

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  5. Ugh, those moments of feeling completely overwhelmed suck! I hope you find yourself in a more peaceful place soon!

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    1. Thanks! It's getting better, slowly but surely!

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  6. I so completely hear you. I get there way too frequently. And then I obsess over just how poorly I'm doing and what I should have done.

    I love your reader's idea of a list of what you've done right. Love it.

    And I can't stop laughing about the angry ferrets who, to be fair, didn't start that way. Awesome.

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    1. It's a vicious cycle. Stupid cycles and their viciousness!

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