Friday, January 11, 2013

Rhyming Dirty Words

     Let's just forget my last hissy fit of a blog post, shall we?  Is that cool with everyone?  Yes?  Good.  Moving on, then.  Shortly before Christmas, Skeletor's class began really hammering home the concept of rhyming words.  Either that, or Skeletor just waited until then to show off his new skill.  Regardless, the boy has been walking around rhyming everything.  At first, I was all, "Yay!  Good job, boy child!  I'm so very proud of you!"  But that pride has suddenly changed to...well, a mixture of feelings.
     In the last couple of months, Skeletor has become very "interested" in sharks.  Meaning, of course, that he eats, sleeps, breathes, and talks about nothing but sharks.  Especially Jaws.  Jaws is his jam.  I say all of that to say this.  Everyone knows the scene at the end of the movie "Jaws" where Brody feeds Jaws an oxygen tank and utters the iconic "Smile, you son of a" line before blowing Jaws into chum.  Well, that scene is classic for a reason.  And, as such, it has resonated with Skeletor, too.  Honestly, I don't even know if the movie actually finishes that line, but a lot of the YouTube "Jaws" parodies that Skeletor has been watching certainly do.  (Yeah, I know.  I'm a crappy parent.  Whatevers.)
     ANYWAY, to finally get to the point of this post, learning how to rhyme plus shark explosion related dirty words has led to Skeletor's new favorite past time, rhyming dirty words.  First it was, "Smile, you son of a witch!"  Now, it's "dumblass" and "bam!"  I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he graduates to "motherclucker."  Frankly, I was unaware that the boy had so many curse words stored away in that brain of his.  (Again, I suck at life and parenting.)
     Part of me is chagrined.  All I need is for him to go off on a rhyming tangent at school.  I've already been there and done that this school year.  Another part of me is impressed by the critical thinking skills required to pull this off.  But, mostly?  I just think it's freaking hilarious.

I don't know why I find this so funny.

12 comments:

  1. I soooo get this! My son has learned quite a few curse words lately. Mostly from watching video game walkthroughs on YouTube. He hasn't thought of the rhyming. He'd love that! He does come up with all kinds of creative ways to imply the words without saying them. "What the..." "I'm not supposed to say bad words, especially the really bad ones like the one that starts with an f"

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    1. YouTube strikes again! Yeah, he'll also say the real word sometimes, then immediately tell me that it's a bad word. Sneaky.

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  2. Lily has not progressed beyond "shut up" which she has never used correctly, but it's still gets our attention.

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    1. We've always said that shut up was a "bad word." But that really only serves to make them all want to say it.

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  3. My son is big into sharks too but he's only 4 so he hasn't watched Jaws yet. I'm not quite sure he's aware that they would like to eat him.

    P.S. That pic at the end is hilarious.

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    1. Good, I'm not the only one who thinks it's funny! And my son is definitely aware they want to eat him, and he alternately finds that awesome and terrifying.

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  4. Oh, my goodness. Your boy is a freaking genius! He can come teach my kids rhyming words anytime so they can stop with the "oops. it slipped."

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    1. I'm sensing a money making opportunity here...

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  5. Then he has a bright future in dubbing over bad word dialog for broadcast television! That requires a lot of creative thought. My favorite: "You see what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?" from Big Lebowski.

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    1. I've never watched Big Lebowski on cable, but now I'm driving myself crazy trying to think what line in the movie that could be replacing.

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  6. You think the shark cartoon is funny because it is. Funny. Awesome funny.

    Oh, boy. I'm the one with the three year old who shouts, "What the hell?" every time someone bumps into him.

    And the seven year old who chants "f*** f*** f*** f***" after every minor injury.

    So I'd take a dumblass and bam any day of the week. I'd settle for a "firetrucking" now and then.

    Sigh.

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  7. Sadly, he has since graduated to the big leagues. Major potty mouth on the Skeletor! Sigh, squared.

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