Friday, June 1, 2012

We Are Classy Sophisticates.

     As I am writing this, I am well aware that I may drive away the few readers that I have.  It is entirely possible, that while reading this, all of you will lose what little respect you had for me.  (It's okay.  Nobody respects me in the real world, either.  I try to behave in a manner that will assure this lack of respect continues.)  But, dear reader, if you choose to go ahead with this post, and find yourself panicking and thrashing about like a drowning victim, simply look at this picture.  Remind yourself that we are not completely without hope.

Look.  The Captain and I are wearing top hats.
We've got class shooting out of our ear holes!
     Anyway, on with the show.  This morning, the Captain and I were sitting on our front porch watching the neighbors as this is what old, Southern people are supposed to do.  (I still need to get a floppy hat like Weeza in Steel Magnolias.)  We're both just kind of gazing across the street at the house that just got new tenants.  Or rather, we were just kind of gazing at their dog.  Our new neighbors are the kind of crappy dog owners that just chain a dog to a tree, and leave him in the yard all day and night.  So this poor dog is walking around in circles, clearly looking for a place to poop.  But she's all confused because her chain isn't very long, so she doesn't have many places to pick from.  Then the dog starts sniffing the little concrete walkway that leads to the front door.  That is when the Captain and I, two alleged adults, started quietly willing the dog to poop right in front of the door.  We even shushed the kids when they came outside so they wouldn't throw the dog off her game.  Sadly, before the dog could leave her justified, unpleasant surprise on the walkway, the woman came out and took the dog to the backyard to poop.  And by took her to the backyard, I mean she took the dog out back and tied her to a different tree.  That's okay.  We all know that one day that dog will have its revenge.

12 comments:

  1. I hate to admit but I became a dog owner like that once about 15 years ago. We had a wild dalmatian puppy that was originally suppose to be an "inside" dog. He started chewing our shoes, cabinets and doors and hog the bed at night as he got bigger, so we put him in the backyard during the day and cage at night. He then started chewing the back deck and the window sills and anything else he could get so our last resort was tying him to tree where he couldn't reach the house. I always had chew toys and stuff for him but it wasn't enough. I felt so guilty that I finally gave him to a family who had 5 homeschooled children and a huge farm with cows and acreage. I hope old Spot enjoyed all the open space to run wild. He was so ADHD!! I'm officially a cat person now.

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  2. Replies
    1. She was thinking about it this morning, too!

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  3. If judging people is wrong, I don't want to be right!

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    1. Judging people is really all I've got going for me!

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  4. The best part is that you hushed the kids...hahah!!!
    We secretly want our neighbors dog to poop on their porch. They have one of those fake "grass" porches.
    And they are total b-holes.
    It would be awesome.
    One day...muwhahhhahah

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    1. I've never been so heavily invested in whether or not a dog pooped. It was exhilirating!

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  5. That's high drama around here - let me know what happens! (I hope that dog teaches them a lesson, though folks like that probably won't ever learn.)

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    1. Update: she did poop on the side of the walkway this morning. She's gathering her nerve, I think. Fight the powers that be, puppy dog!

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  6. GO vindictive-pooping-dog GO!

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  7. It makes me feel like I have truly accomplished something with my life now that this dog has a cheering section!

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