|Look. The Captain and I are wearing top hats.|
We've got class shooting out of our ear holes!
Friday, June 1, 2012
We Are Classy Sophisticates.
As I am writing this, I am well aware that I may drive away the few readers that I have. It is entirely possible, that while reading this, all of you will lose what little respect you had for me. (It's okay. Nobody respects me in the real world, either. I try to behave in a manner that will assure this lack of respect continues.) But, dear reader, if you choose to go ahead with this post, and find yourself panicking and thrashing about like a drowning victim, simply look at this picture. Remind yourself that we are not completely without hope.
Anyway, on with the show. This morning, the Captain and I were sitting on our front porch watching the neighbors as this is what old, Southern people are supposed to do. (I still need to get a floppy hat like Weeza in Steel Magnolias.) We're both just kind of gazing across the street at the house that just got new tenants. Or rather, we were just kind of gazing at their dog. Our new neighbors are the kind of crappy dog owners that just chain a dog to a tree, and leave him in the yard all day and night. So this poor dog is walking around in circles, clearly looking for a place to poop. But she's all confused because her chain isn't very long, so she doesn't have many places to pick from. Then the dog starts sniffing the little concrete walkway that leads to the front door. That is when the Captain and I, two alleged adults, started quietly willing the dog to poop right in front of the door. We even shushed the kids when they came outside so they wouldn't throw the dog off her game. Sadly, before the dog could leave her justified, unpleasant surprise on the walkway, the woman came out and took the dog to the backyard to poop. And by took her to the backyard, I mean she took the dog out back and tied her to a different tree. That's okay. We all know that one day that dog will have its revenge.