Friday, June 22, 2012

I Should Probably Feel Bad About This...

     So, I still feel utterly craptastic.  Not Man Sick, mind you, but still pretty terrible.  And, just for shits and giggles, I also have an ear infection to go along with my Funk.  Yay, good times!  Skeletor is also still sick, which definitely puts a damper on any afore-mentioned good times.  Also for shits and giggles, we are in the middle of trying to implement some ABA awesomeness in our house.  All of this equals super cranky pandas.  Because it's only been a month or so since we got an official diagnosis of autism, we're still in limbo in regards to all the behavioral therapies we need.  (Skeletor has been receiving speech and occupational therapy for over a year now, so we're lucky in that respect.)  We live in a medium sized town, almost smack in the middle of two major cities.  Unfortunately, those two major cities are at least an hour away.  And those two major cities seem to be the only places where we can receive the ABA therapy.  Hence the long waiting lists.  Which leads me to the thing that I should probably feel bad about.  I'm definitely no doctor or therapist, but I can read.  (I know you're shocked.  You should sit down if you are feeling light-headed.)  So, since we're going to be waiting a bit, I've been reading up on ABA.  The somewhat basic gist being you reward good behavior, and ignore bad behavior (within reason.)  And this is what I have started doing.  And Skeletor does not like it one little bit.  In fact, if he knew how to make fire, he would definitely set all of my autism books ablaze.  Despite all of the extra stress (which I know will pay off in the long run,) I have to admit that I got a bit of a chuckle earlier.  As Skeletor sat on the kitchen floor howling and gnashing his teeth because I had the audacity to pick up his toys, it occurred to me.  That is exactly how I feel almost every minute of every day.  Only I don't get to say it.  I don't get to throw things and scream and hit people (other than Captain Gingerbeard, but he's got a sassy mouth.)  And I know that I don't get to do these things because I'm a grown-up...allegedly.  I'm the mommy.  It's my job to not lose my temper.  And although Skeletor is to be granted a little bit of leeway due to the autism, he still has to be taught how to behave, no matter how long it takes.  But hearing him yell out his frustrations today did bring me a bit of levity.  It was kind of good to know somebody else felt the same way I do.  Which may or may not curse me to the deepest, darkest pits.  Aw, crap.  The child just walked up behind me, and ripped the back of my shirt.  Tra-la-la, ignoring it.  I do hope the Captain wasn't particularly fond of it.  I borrowed it from him.

Me.

12 comments:

  1. I don't really know what all the ABA stuff is because my son wasn't diagnosed until 8th grade and that was over 5 years ago so maybe or maybe not they had the ABA stuff. I don't know. Maybe they just chose not to tell me about it. I had to learn by trial and error and I guess I was doing the correct thing cause I ignored a heck of a lot bad behavior. To be honest though, it was cause I was flat worn out and knew I had to choose my battles carefully if I was going to win ANY of them. Sorry about that shirt!

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    1. From what I'm getting out of the books that our doctor recommended, any attention is better than no attention. Even if it's negative attention. So by yelling or punishing or whatever, I may be inadvertently supporting his bad behavior. So I have to let him know the proper way to do things, and really only respond when he does things nicely. Makes sense, it's just the actual follow through that's hard!

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  2. Well at least your wardrobe wasn't damaged today;D

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    1. I know, right? Like the Captain has anywhere fancy to be, anyway!

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  3. Know what you need? A "poor baby." That's when, no matter how many people are starving in Africa, or how bad the homeless situation is in New York, you need somebody to take YOUR ickies seriously. Just have someone stop, look straight at you, and feel bad for YOU.

    So here it is.

    "Oh, you poor BABY. Here. Let me tuck you in with this silky blanket, get you a pillow, and pour you a nice glass of iced tea... Poor baby."

    Feel better?

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    1. Actually, yes. I do. Thank you for taking my ickies seriously!!!

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  4. Oh behavioural issues - we know them so. Currently the summer school team and I are ganging up on my guy when he sticks his fingers in his ears so he can't hear us ... and then laughs. Don't you even *think* about it.

    Else, tea and sympathy and a hot pad. I hope you're feeling better soon.

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    1. Thanks. I got some of the old antibiotics going on, so hopefully it will at least clear up my ear infection. And aren't the behavioral issues just the best part?!

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  5. Oh man you've had a rough week. ABA sounds like what I have to do for my oldest. Not because she's autistic, but because she seems to thrive on negative attention. Oh how I wish I could make her cower at the wrath of mom instead of laugh in it's face. Little weirdo! I hope you start feeling better soon because ear infections in adults totally suck!

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    1. Yeah, ear infections are the devil! I wish I was more intimidating!

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  6. The conference last week had a lot of sessions on ABA... being that we're also very new to our autism diagnosis, they were very enlightening. So, I totally feel you there.

    I also totally feel you on the fits. I want to have a good meltdown every once in a a while too. But we're the mommas... the glue that keeps this crap from totally unraveling... because let's face it -- if we left it to the hubs and the kids, everyone would be laying around in their underwear, watching TV and eating fast food all day, every day.

    Ugh. All right. Sucking it up. Let's do this thing.

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    1. Ugh, true story. But it is nice to ever so briefly fantasize about having a breakdown. And then back to work we go!

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