Thursday, May 10, 2012

I Wanna Be Sedated

     Oh, don't mind me.  My head's just going to explode at any minute, flinging grey matter all about my living room.  Skeletor and Sassafrass (who are only ten months apart in age, bt dubs) have been at each other's throats all week.  Yet, they refuse to be separated.  Put them in different rooms, and they're all, "Nooooooo!  We're best friends!  We love each other!"  And then two seconds later, pow!  Right in the kisser.  I am so tempted to just let them duke it out gladiator style.  Two kids enter, only one leaves.  But, alas, I fear that the authorities would somehow hold me responsible for the resulting carnage.  Lame.  And to add insult to injury, all the joints in my body are all swollen and Lyme-y, making it even more difficult than usual to make them respect my authoritah.  It's hard to rule with an iron first when one can't even make a fist.  Ooooohhhh!  I need a fist like the one Dr. Claw had on "Inspector Gadget!"  I have to go, now.  I know that someone out there in the vastness of the interwebs has a Dr. Claw prosthetic that they are willing to part with.  Or they can build me a scale-model gladiator ring in my backyard.  Either of these things would make a fabulous Mother's Day present. 

This is what I want, Captain Gingerbeard. 
Gangster spiked bracelet included.


  1. Sorry about your joints. Do you have RA?
    Doesn't it feel like there are weeks when the kids are like opposing magnets? I hope everything gets better!

    1. No, I have Lyme Disease. But, it does make my joints all ouchy-fied. Thanks for the well wishes. I just need to keep them from killing each other until my husband comes home. He would be most put out if I did otherwise. :)

  2. Hats off to you, madam. My kids are 13 months apart and I want to rip my hair out. Full of love, of course!

    I can probably provide the fat cat sidekick, but I'm not techie enough to be making iron fists or Inspector Gadget-y gadgets. I was obsessed with that cartoon when I was little. But alas no skills rubbed off.

  3. You know my pain, then! I'm absolutely certain that if I search into the deepest, darkest corners of the internet, I will find an iron fist!